Some "Jokes" Just Aren't Funny

Hello everyone, I hope you all had splendid weeks full of magic and purring kittens!

Before I delve into tonight's topic I just want to post a quick reminder that the Washington Chapter of the Modified Dolls' auction to support the Not For Sale Campaign will be going on until this Saturday. I have entered a signed copy of "Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus" into the auction, and there are tons of other awesome items up for grabs. Seriously, check it out here!

I have a few disclaimers before I launch into this particular blog post. First off, I am a humor author, but I am also a social worker and community activist, so while my blog tends to stay on the lighter side of things, I feel that it is important to give a voice to some less than pleasant things on occasion. Second, while I work for the YWCA, the views expressed in this blog are my own, these are not necessarily the views of the organization for which I work. Finally, I wish to issue a trigger warning to anyone sensitive to the topics of rape or domestic violence.

Whew, lots of disclaimers this time around, but you all made it through like champs! I'm writing about this issue because, as a social worker and humor writer who currently resides in Spokane, I can hardly ignore something that is happening literally less than five miles from where I sleep at night.

This past Saturday I stood in out in the "spit goes clink" cold of downtown Spokane amongst protesters holding this sign:

Since my phone is both terrible at being a phone and a camera, you may have to click and enlarge that picture to read it.

Photo Courtesy of The Inlander

What were we protesting? In Spokane a brand new bar opened a couple weeks ago and they posted the drink list to the right online and in their bar.

As you peruse the drink names you might notice one that stands out, particularly because it is both a rather obnoxious color of purple and super-duper offensive. That's right, you read that correctly, "Date Grape Koolaid."

You can now get a thinly veiled rape pun at happy hour prices.

When asked nicely to change the name, the bar's owners not only refused to, but responded by mocking and belittling concerned community members, rape victims and basically anyone else who didn't "get the joke." I'm not going to go too much further into the background of the situation as several national news outlets have already done that for me.

So what's the big deal? It's just a cruddy drink name. Isn't this just another crazy feminist attempt to stop normal people from having fun?

If these were the first questions that popped into your head, you might find what I have to say next a little earth shattering. I hope you'll continue reading, though.

We live in a culture that glorifies rape and violence against women. This is not an opinion, but a fact. I could sit here and prove it to be true, but then this would cease to be blog post length and more like a PhD dissertation. If you need some immediate proof there is this very excellent article on rape culture or you could just go watch Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" video (though I don't recommend the latter if you want to have any faith in humanity after the first 30 seconds).

In America it is estimated that sexual assault happens every two minutes. That's over 237,000 instances of sexual assault a year. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be a victim of either attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (numbers from the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network). Let me put that into perspective for you: An attempted or completed rape is nearly 7 times more likely to occur to you or someone you know than a fatal car accident (34,080 in 2012), fatal airplane accidents (794 in 2012) and lightning strikes (an average of 51 per year since 2008) combined.

Now here is where the humor writer side of me kicks in. Since starting to protest this issue, my fellow protestors and I have been accused by a plethora of people as having no sense of humor. Apparently, we just don't "get the joke" that creating an alcoholic drink name that sounds like "date rape" provides.

First, I'd like to ask, have you read my book? Because humor is kind of my deal.

So for those people who don't understand why this isn't funny, let me explain humor to you:

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here."

The other muffin yells, "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"

Ok, admittedly not my best work, but you will notice something about my cheesy little joke. It's funny without making fun of a giant issue in our culture that ruins lives and leaves victims feeling defenseless and permanently damaged. Huh, imagine that, one can be funny and not say horrible demeaning things to do it!

Rape is not funny, and it greatly saddens me that I even had to write that phrase. Making jokes about these horrible acts only downplays the emotions and experiences of victims and vindicates perpetrators. After all if it is "just a joke" then what's the big deal?

That is why I spent a Saturday night, bundled up in enough layers to give an onion a run for it's money, holding my sign surrounded by other individuals who do not wish to see a menu that reads the name "Date Grape Koolaid."


However, I must say there are two small positive outcomes that I have seen in this controversy.

1. Thanks to some seriously insensitive bar owners, the topic of rape has been brought to the forefront in my community, which means advocates, such as myself, for victims have a chance to educate the public about a very pervasive problem.

2. I have gotten to see an amazing outpouring of support in my community over this issue. The night I went to protest there were over 50 people there. Three other local businesses actually bought the protesters coffee so that we didn't completely freeze. The fact that so many people have decided to call this business out on their abominable behavior gives me little shreds of hope for civilization.

I can only hope that rape is taken off the menu in my city soon.

As always, you can find me on Facebook and Twitter.

Some Days I Feel Like an Animal in the Zoo

Well hello all of my weekday warriors! I'm hoping you all survived the week with relatively few harmful hijinks!

I have just a quick announcement before we get into the meat of this week's post. The Washington Chapter of the Modified Dolls is holding an auction to benefit the Not for Sale Campaign.

The Not for Sale Campaign helps bring awareness to the subject of human trafficking and helps victims of modern-day slavery. The Modified Dolls is a national organization of tattooed women who get together to support worthy causes. So basically, they combine two of my favorite things, altruism with body art!

I have entered a signed copy of "Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus" into the auction. If you want to enter the bidding click here.

I would also encourage you to check out the other items in the auction, there are some pretty sweet items up for the bidding there and all the proceeds are going to help end human trafficking.

You know those jobs that kids dream about getting when they grow up? Bill Naylor actually got one of those jobs: he has spent much of his life as a zoo keeper.

Not only did Bill spend many years surrounded by exotic animals, he also wrote material for several comedians. So what step can one take after such a varied and prolific career? He decided to write a book. Lucky for you and I, he also agreed to an interview!

Have you ever wondered, could my job get any worse? Bill Naylor's "Misadventures of a Zoo Keeper" pretty much answers that question for you, and the answer is, "Yes, it really, really can."

From being attacked by an amorous duck to explaining the dangers of the cassowary (yes, I had to Google what that was too), Naylor presents a world unfamiliar to most of us as he explains parts of his life as a zookeeper. With pearls of wisdom such as, "...he who hesitates gets bitten," this book flows from one hilarious story to the next. With stories that prove that truth is by far funnier than fiction, "Misadventures of a Zoo Keeper" is sure to make even the most austere person grin.

Here is an interview with author Bill Naylor.

1. How did you get into comedy writing?

I basically rang up producers of TV shows threatening to jump off something high if they didn’t read my scripts. The first joke I sold wasn’t even spoken, it was flashed up on screen. "Wailing Wall for sale, only one previous moaner!” 

2. You've written material for several comedians, which one was your favorite to write for?

I wrote for over a hundred comedians and comedy shows, mainly British, over a twenty year period. So it’s hard to choose one. Les Dawson, Russ Abbot, The Two Ronnies, are ones that stand out. The worse comedy actor I wrote for didn’t know funny from a migraine. When I told him my gag, "never play darts with a guy who has a bald head, he just won’t stick in the board," he said, “Nobody  plays darts with a guy who has a bald head, you use darts.” 

 

3. Of all the animals in the zoo, which was your absolute least favorite and why?

That would be a toss up between a hairy nosed wombat and a hippo. The hippo because they weigh two tons and are mega poop machines. They have a tail shaped like a like a toilet brush and scatter you know what everywhere. In an African river it’s not noticable. But in a zoo? Hippo keepers are equipped with spiked boots and ice axes as every hour they are confronted with a mountain range of  poop.  

The Hairy Nosed Wombat (A.K.A. Houdini)

The other animal I disliked was a  hairy nosed wombat, because I never ever saw the charming animal I looked after. He regularly tunneled out of his enclosure and went  wombat walkabout, The sign on his cage read, “On Tour." He’d usually tunnel into other animals enclosures.  Consequently we had to leave extra food in all the other animal enclosures for HNW. He also had the irritating habit of digging a new tunnel every time he vacated an enclosure. So the zoo section I was responsible for looked like a building site.

 
4. How on the earth did you end up a zookeeper, and how long were you employed as one? 

Had loads of pets, waifs and strays and exotic animals as a boy. “That bloody menagerie,” my dad called it. Started at Chester Zoo England aged sixteen, worked in zoos and wildlife parks around the world till I was fifty something. But also had a parallel career as a writer. Wrote articles on wildlife, which I still do. Have sold short stories, and comedy scripts from the age of thirty.    
   

5. At what point, during your rather tumultuous career, did you stop and say, "I really need to start writing some of this stuff down?"

I always have written ideas down. But realised a few years back, that during my time in zoos I had worked with some strange, bizarre and scary creatures. Mostly humans. So I started to put some stories together. 

6. If you could choose a comedian (not including those you wrote for) to go bowling with, whom would you choose?

My favourite English comedian is Michael Mcintyre. But I’d like to go bowling with a young Jerry Lewis. because in the “Nutty professor” he went down the bowling lane with his finger stuck in the ball, and I’d like to see him do that again. 

7. Are you planning on following up "Misadventures of a Zoo Keeper" with another book?

 I've had a few ideas in the pipeline, and people are keen for “More Misadventures of a Zoo Keeper." I haven't as yet decided.

If you are interested in "Misadventures of a Zoo Keeper" you can check it out on Amazon!

As always, feel free to check out my exploits on Facebook, Twitter and Goodreads!