Some "Jokes" Just Aren't Funny

Hello everyone, I hope you all had splendid weeks full of magic and purring kittens!

Before I delve into tonight's topic I just want to post a quick reminder that the Washington Chapter of the Modified Dolls' auction to support the Not For Sale Campaign will be going on until this Saturday. I have entered a signed copy of "Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus" into the auction, and there are tons of other awesome items up for grabs. Seriously, check it out here!

I have a few disclaimers before I launch into this particular blog post. First off, I am a humor author, but I am also a social worker and community activist, so while my blog tends to stay on the lighter side of things, I feel that it is important to give a voice to some less than pleasant things on occasion. Second, while I work for the YWCA, the views expressed in this blog are my own, these are not necessarily the views of the organization for which I work. Finally, I wish to issue a trigger warning to anyone sensitive to the topics of rape or domestic violence.

Whew, lots of disclaimers this time around, but you all made it through like champs! I'm writing about this issue because, as a social worker and humor writer who currently resides in Spokane, I can hardly ignore something that is happening literally less than five miles from where I sleep at night.

This past Saturday I stood in out in the "spit goes clink" cold of downtown Spokane amongst protesters holding this sign:

Since my phone is both terrible at being a phone and a camera, you may have to click and enlarge that picture to read it.

Photo Courtesy of The Inlander

What were we protesting? In Spokane a brand new bar opened a couple weeks ago and they posted the drink list to the right online and in their bar.

As you peruse the drink names you might notice one that stands out, particularly because it is both a rather obnoxious color of purple and super-duper offensive. That's right, you read that correctly, "Date Grape Koolaid."

You can now get a thinly veiled rape pun at happy hour prices.

When asked nicely to change the name, the bar's owners not only refused to, but responded by mocking and belittling concerned community members, rape victims and basically anyone else who didn't "get the joke." I'm not going to go too much further into the background of the situation as several national news outlets have already done that for me.

So what's the big deal? It's just a cruddy drink name. Isn't this just another crazy feminist attempt to stop normal people from having fun?

If these were the first questions that popped into your head, you might find what I have to say next a little earth shattering. I hope you'll continue reading, though.

We live in a culture that glorifies rape and violence against women. This is not an opinion, but a fact. I could sit here and prove it to be true, but then this would cease to be blog post length and more like a PhD dissertation. If you need some immediate proof there is this very excellent article on rape culture or you could just go watch Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" video (though I don't recommend the latter if you want to have any faith in humanity after the first 30 seconds).

In America it is estimated that sexual assault happens every two minutes. That's over 237,000 instances of sexual assault a year. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be a victim of either attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (numbers from the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network). Let me put that into perspective for you: An attempted or completed rape is nearly 7 times more likely to occur to you or someone you know than a fatal car accident (34,080 in 2012), fatal airplane accidents (794 in 2012) and lightning strikes (an average of 51 per year since 2008) combined.

Now here is where the humor writer side of me kicks in. Since starting to protest this issue, my fellow protestors and I have been accused by a plethora of people as having no sense of humor. Apparently, we just don't "get the joke" that creating an alcoholic drink name that sounds like "date rape" provides.

First, I'd like to ask, have you read my book? Because humor is kind of my deal.

So for those people who don't understand why this isn't funny, let me explain humor to you:

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's getting hot in here."

The other muffin yells, "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"

Ok, admittedly not my best work, but you will notice something about my cheesy little joke. It's funny without making fun of a giant issue in our culture that ruins lives and leaves victims feeling defenseless and permanently damaged. Huh, imagine that, one can be funny and not say horrible demeaning things to do it!

Rape is not funny, and it greatly saddens me that I even had to write that phrase. Making jokes about these horrible acts only downplays the emotions and experiences of victims and vindicates perpetrators. After all if it is "just a joke" then what's the big deal?

That is why I spent a Saturday night, bundled up in enough layers to give an onion a run for it's money, holding my sign surrounded by other individuals who do not wish to see a menu that reads the name "Date Grape Koolaid."


However, I must say there are two small positive outcomes that I have seen in this controversy.

1. Thanks to some seriously insensitive bar owners, the topic of rape has been brought to the forefront in my community, which means advocates, such as myself, for victims have a chance to educate the public about a very pervasive problem.

2. I have gotten to see an amazing outpouring of support in my community over this issue. The night I went to protest there were over 50 people there. Three other local businesses actually bought the protesters coffee so that we didn't completely freeze. The fact that so many people have decided to call this business out on their abominable behavior gives me little shreds of hope for civilization.

I can only hope that rape is taken off the menu in my city soon.

As always, you can find me on Facebook and Twitter.

Gross

Hello all you lovely people, I hope your week has been more fantastic than the thought of a thousand rabbits on mini-bikes chasing Richard Simmons!

I received this picture and description this week from Rachel Dickerson:

 "Just finished an extremely entertaining and HILARIOUS short novel by an amazing new author. Congrats Allison I look forward to your next book." 

Thank you Rachel! And thank you to all of you who have read and provided me with feedback on Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus! Your wonderful words have been so encouraging!

So this past week one of the biggest new stories of the year broke. Syria... oh wait, sorry, never mind, wrong one. The biggest story of modern memory, according to the media, is that Miley Cyrus was caught on stage at the MTV Music Video Awards dancing provocatively along with
Robin Thicke.

Ok, first I would like to state that "provocatively" might be a strong term. I'm not sure who found Miley's tongue being stuck out of the side of her mouth for a majority of the performance "sexy." She looked like a giraffe.

No seriously, how can this:

Not remind you a bit of this:

Miley, I realize that you desperately want everyone to know that you are not a little girl anymore, and that you've become an adult. However this look: 

Doesn't so much scream, "I'm an adult!" 

Instead it really screams, "You're not the boss of me anymore! I can do what I want! I don't have a bedtime anymore! <insert other almost meaningless rebellious statements here>"

Miley, if you want to be taken seriously as an "adult" performer, dressing up as a teddy bear and running around displaying less class than a backwoods Arkansas trailer park is not going to get you there.

Also, please don't promote this kind of behavior, you have thousands of young teenage fans whose tongues I really don't want to see hanging out of their mouths.

And that is all I have to say about Miley, but not all I have to say about this "media sensation."

My actual first thought upon seeing the video clip, that I could not have avoided unless I poked my eyes out with a spork, was not, "Wow, Miley is being super provocative."

My first blush response was, "Wow, Robin Thicke is something that rhymes with is last name (you have a couple of options there, choose the one you find most useful)."

So far the harshest mass media criticism has been on what he chose to wear:

Granted his outfit made him an easy choice to star in any "Beetlejuice" sequels that might be in the future, but that isn't his only similarity to Beetlejuice's character.

Robin Thicke's behavior was downright creepy.

Yes, I said creepy.

Standing up in front of a live crowd of thousands, as a married 36 year old man, and dancing "provocatively" with a 20 year old, who is dressed in a little girl-esque teddy bear outfit (followed by flesh tone underwear), while singing a song that promotes the acceptance of rape culture is CREEPY!"

And yes, that song is garbage. I don't care what you say to defend the tonal atrocity, it promotes disrespecting women. If the lyrics included, "And then I asked her, politely, if she wanted to dance," or "I told her that I would like to take her out to a nice dinner," and the song wasn't titled "Blurred Lines," then I might be willing to hear arguments to the contrary.

Just because it is kind of catchy (in that heard-this-beat-a-million-times-before kind of way) does not make it a good song.

The fact that all the headlines are screaming, "Miley Cyrus Did XYZ!" and not "Robin Thicke Did XYZ," scares me. The media acts shocked that a woman would be acting this way (even though we know they are not in the slightest) but it gives no such, albeit fake, surprised response to Thicke's performance.

It deeply concerns me that a father being an absolute cad on stage while singing, "That's why I'm goin' to take a good girl, I know you want it," is considered so normal that it barely receives any mention.

Also, what a great example to be setting for your son, Robin! He's not being influenced to grow up and treat women like objects at all. (There is enough sarcasm dripping from that statement that you could wring it out and fill a bucket, just in case you didn't catch that.)

Well thank you Robin Thicke, now the next time someone asks me why I still believe that feminism has a place in America, I now can point to you emphatically as my example A.

What was your reaction to the "media sensation" that has been, oh so subtly, shoved down your throat for the past week?

As always, feel free to follow my exploits on Facebook, Twitter, and Goodreads!