Just Call Me Sherlock

Hello everyone! I hope everyone had a week that was more fantastic than the thought of the Mutant Ninja Turtles performing Prince's "Kiss!"

Well this week I ended up with a bit of a mystery on my hands. Oh if only I had had a group of teen super-sleuths in a psychedelically painted van to help me! 

Sadly, I was Scooby and Shaggy-less.

It all started when I was pinned to my bed over the weekend by a migraine. I was lying there, attempting not to hate life quite as much, when I heard a crash from my kitchen. The sound was quickly followed by a series of frantic sounding thuds and a couple of thumps to boot.

Now, at this point, I have two suspects for you all: Voodoo and Santeria.

Sinister looking, aren't they?

Voodoo and Santeria are the three and seven pound, respectively, balls of fur and claws that currently reside in my apartment. Out of the two of them, Santeria is usually my trouble maker. If you need proof check below:

That is a basket of clean laundry that she is rolling around in making sure that she gets as much of her kitty hair on it as possible. Her other hobbies include: diving head first into bowls of cereal, stealing and hiding my glasses and toilet papering me while I'm asleep.

Therefore, it was my conclusion that whatever had just occurred in my kitchen, probably had something to do with the cat with the serious rap sheet.

But then, plot twist, Voodoo sauntered in and hopped up on my bed dressed like this:

With a Safeway bag flowing behind her like a cape and a look on her little face that said, "Whatever, I'm fabulous!" I began to suspect that Voodoo may have been involved.

In trying to remove the bag (which she was most insistent on wearing) I also found that she smelled like various things I had thrown away in my trash can earlier that day. With my powers of deduction fully employed, I believe I caught my culprit.

Her sentence for her crime? The loss of her cape and the dreaded bath.

This is a cautionary tale for all you young readers. Remember, crime doesn't pay. At the very least, you will lose your cape and have to take a bath.

As always, feel free to follow my adventures on Facebook and Twitter (@AllisonHawn) and don't forget to check out my books on Amazon!

The Dark Knight Has a Meltdown

Hello! I hope everyone had a better Halloween than the thought of thousands of bats squeaking along to the tune of "The Monster Mash!"

A couple weeks ago I mentioned I would holding another contest, and I finally got off my tuckus and set that up! You now have a chance to win a signed copy of Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus!

 If you are interested in entering, it is easier than cutting through butter with a lightsaber. My Facebook author page has around 250 likes. If I can get that number up to at least 300 likes before next Saturday (November 9) I will be selecting a person at random from those likes to receive a signed copy of my book!

Head on over to my author page, like and share it and make sure you're in the running to win!

Well my favorite holiday was this past week. Halloween, sadly, nearly always falls during the work week, which makes celebrating it a little interesting.

My Halloween day started when I went to the gym and was met with a clown at the front desk. I am not a huge fan of clowns, and can you blame me?

I just can't trust anyone who wears that much make-up and smiles all the time, which is probably why I would never trust Kim Kardashian. Also, can someone please explain to me why clowns pockets are so big? Is that where they are keeping the children they steal?

Anyways, 5:30 in the morning is far too early to be faced with clowns. Just saying.

At work, however, the daycare that is situated below our offices brought their munchkins up to do a little office Trick or Treating.

The kids were adorable. I got to watch as Spiderman got his mask on a little sideways and walked into a wall, Thor wiped his nose on his mighty hammer and a "demon-fairy" (her description, not mine) bit a very confused Ninja Turtle.

Probably the best one that I saw, however, was this little boy dressed as Batman. He was walking along and stepped on his own cape, which came off. He totally lost it, "My *sob* cape came *sniffle* off!"

Yep, that is exactly what Batman does, "Alfred! *sniffle* My glove *sob* has a *sniffle* hole in it!"

It was only after the daycare teacher reattached the cape and the little ladybug behind him in line gave him half of a package of Smarties, was the Dark Knight ready to combat the forces of evil again.

Did anyone else get to witness any adorable munchkins on Halloween?

Don't forget to enter the contest on my Facebook page!

You can also follow me on Twitter and Goodreads!

This is Halloween

Hello all ghouls and goblins!

I'm extremely excited for this next week. Why? Because it's Halloween, which is the best holiday of them all!

Every time I say this I get expressions that denotes that I have been huffing too much glue or drinking too much Kool-Aid mixed with bathroom cleaners.

I have some very legitimate reasons why Halloween is, by far, my favorite holiday.

1. For one day you can be whoever or whatever you want and have it be socially acceptable.

Have you always dreamed of being a spy, a giant crayon, a dragon or all of the above? Do it!

On Halloween you have full permission to don whatever getup you desire and be whoever you want to be in a way that, aside from various conventions, would normally be taboo.

Need a costume idea? What about attempting this one?

2. Halloween comes with very low stress or social pressure.

Halloween can be as involved or uninvolved as you want it to be. Want to dress up and go to a midnight showing of "Rocky Horror Picture Show?" Go for it. Want to run around a haunted house? Scream on.

However, if you want to sit at home and pass out candy, that option is acceptable. Don't want to pass out candy? Then turn your porch light off and spend the evening watching campy horror movies in your boxers.

If you do go for that option, however, no complaining when one of these guys ends up in your kitchen:

3. It is a holiday that, more than any other, showcases human creativity. 

Some people are geniuses with their costumes.

Can you imagine how much time it must have taken to do the make-up for this Roy Lichtenstein-esque costume?

And this is probably the most make-up these guys will ever wear (and how did they get so shiny?).

And probably my favorite visual pun costume, the human spice rack.

I don't care how much time you spend trimming your Christmas tree or making that centerpiece for your Thanksgiving table, Halloween brings out the best (and sometimes, admittedly, the worst) in human creativity.

4. Candy

Enough said.

5. Halloween provides a legitimate reason to watch endless amounts of zombie films.

Seriously, what other time of year can you tell your coworkers that you plan on watching "Zombieland," "Dawn of the Dead," "Shaun of the Dead," "Resident Evil" and "Night of the Living Dead" in one day without them giving you concerned looks and wondering if they need to refer you to a mental health professional?

I hope everyone has a fantastic Halloween!

Let me know what your favorite part of Halloween is!

Remember, if you ever need a little extra adventure in your day feel free to follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Goodreads.