Monday, July 15, 2013

Write Yourself Into Infamy!!!

Good evening! I hope everyone had a superb weekend and at least somewhat survived Monday.

Considering this morning I ended up applying foundation to my armpits before I realized that the bottle I was holding was not, in fact, deodorant, we can guess how my Monday went. At least my armpits were pretty today, right?

So I'm afraid this past weekend went blog-post-less because all of my brain cells, in unison, decided to go on a vacation to Tahiti. I really wish they would have taken the rest of my body with them, jerks.

Well first thing's first, Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus has been added to the Barnes and Noble catalog! Isn't that spiffy!?

Now to the more important bit, how would you not only like to win a signed copy of Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus, but showcase your own creative writing talents in my next book?

If that sounds supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (and yes, as a person with dyslexia that is a HARD word to spell), then read on!

This sometimes happens:

I was writing this past week when I ran into a moment where I started one of my similes, and got stuck for a second. It wasn't a long second, but it was long enough for this thought to pop in my head like a gremlin cooked in a microwave, "You know what, maybe someone else would like to give these a shot?"

So here's the contest, we are going to play a game of Complete the Simile. The person who comes up with the funniest and most creative end to, "Going through airport security is like..." will receive a free signed copy of Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus and their excellent simile, with credit given of course, will go into my next book! 

I promise the book I am offering for this contest is not the one with the teeth marks from my moment of velociraptor-like excitement.

If you would like to enter, either leave your entry in the comments below or on this Facebook page in reply to any of the posts that mention this contest! Share this contest with your friends, it won't be any fun if only a few people participate!

Come on people, show me what you've got!

Remember, you can always follow my off-kilter exploits on Facebook, Twitter or Goodreads!


  1. Going through airport security is like that date I had with the loser who insisted his car was in love with me, and that is why it wouldn't start when sitting at the edge of Lake Lowell at 11pm, but at the cellular level.

  2. Going through airport security is like chugging down a gallon of Miralax; it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, but nothing gets moving if you don't.......

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  4. Going through airport security is like waiting in the long lines at Disneyland, EXCEPT, at Disneyland, there is a cute ride at the end, there is no danger of being strip searched, you don’t have to show ID or tickets, you get to wear your shoes, and people smile at you at all parts of the process.