Saturday, September 28, 2013

A Whole Bunch of Nope

Hello everyone, I hope your weeks have all been more fantastic than the thought of Captain America riding an American flag colored unicorn!

Well it's been a bit of a fascinating week for me. Due to several conferences and trainings all being in one week, a vast majority of the staff at the place I work were missing.

This means that for three days it was left to one other staff member and I to keep our well-oiled (fine, WD-40-ed) machine running. I do rather wonder if this is what my boss pictured as she left us on our ownsies:

Actually, that would probably be relatively accurate.

Of course, because there were only two of us, it meant that every crazy, attention seeking, person with serious disorders (with "A doctor's note and everything!") decided to pay us a visit.

I had people in my office demanding counseling sessions (something that is not really in my certification wheelhouse), telling me about their alien abductions and trying to show me various rashes/cysts/skin issues and asking for my medical opinion.

The person who took the cake, which was probably made from sugar, spite and the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," actually caught me on my way in to work.

I was already running late that morning, thanks to a small furry somebody that decided to vomit directly on my work clothes.

As I was hurrying down the sidewalk at a pace that could only be matched by those speed-walking mall-grannies, a guy approached me from one of the parking lots and asked for some change.

I gave him an apologetic smile and said, "Sorry, I don't carry any change on me."

He looked bummed for about half a second before asking, "Well, can I give you a hug?"

I shook my head, "No, thanks, really I have to get to work."

"Well, umm... I'm just gonna give you a kiss then," and he went for it.

I dove to the side, "What!? No! Do not try that again!"

That day I was wearing a v-neck shirt and my angel tattoo was showing just a little bit. He looked at my tattoo and said, "Well, can I at least kiss her then?"

I blinked, "Only if you want me to break every last bone in your body."

"You wouldn't..." he gave me his best attempt at puppy dog eyes, which really just made him look more like the bad guy in a "Criminal Minds" episode.

"Oh, believe me, they would be collecting you in a bucket if you tried," I then dipped around my random, creepy, attempted paramour and continued on my way to work.

Coming in at 8:05 instead of 8:00, I definitely had the best, "I was late to work because..." story of the week. 

Did anyone else have a bizarre experience or two this week? I'd love to hear about them!

As always, my daily adventures can be found on Facebook, Twitter and Goodreads!

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