Friday, May 30, 2014

"I'm #^@!#$% Cooking!!!" with Allison

Hello all, I hope you are all doing more splendidly than the thought of a thousand Elvis impersonators reenacting the Battle of Philippi.

A quick reminder June 13th I will be at Hyde Park Books in Boise to sign your copies of "Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus!"

Luckily the Demon had the Recipe
A couple of weeks ago I might have mentioned that I'm a good cook but kind of (or extremely) dangerous in the kitchen. I also indicated that my friends have commented multiple times that I should have my own cooking show titled "I'm #^@!#$% Cooking!!!" with Allison.

Since that post went live I've had multiple requests for a culinary demonstration. As to not disappoint, today I am providing you with one of my favorite absolutely and completely unhealthy recipes.

So don your aprons, send any children or sensitive/annoying relatives or friends to another room, pour yourself a glass of wine and follow along!
Cookie Dough Brownie Bombs

(AKA: Screw it! I'm wearing sweatpants today!)

You will need:

1. Cookie Dough

2. A box of fudge brownie mix (important that you buy FUDGE brownie mix, otherwise it all just goes to Heck).

3. Chocolate Bark - Pick your poison. I personally favor mixing dark and white chocolate together, but I won't tell you how to run your life. You will be dipping your creations into its sweet melty goodness, so make sure you buy it proportionally to your cookie dough.

4.  A large cookie sheet with tin foil covering it. Make yourself a hat too while you're at it, after all you don't need aliens getting all up in your business.

The Process:

Step 1: Buy cookie dough (or be all Martha Stewart and make your own) preferably chocolate chip cookie dough. Make small balls of cookie dough and place them on the cookie sheet that you have pre-covered in foil. If you forgot the tin-foil, now would be the moment before you actually follow the rest of these instructions to take care of that. Place the dough balls in the freezer to set up for 45 minutes to an hour. Eat a spoonful of cookie dough, because after all that work you deserve it.

Step 2: While you're waiting for the freezer to do it's magic sing "Let it Go" and proceed to use the instructions on the box to make your fudge brownies. Make them on the moist side rather than the dry side. In other words your arteries be damned, add a dash of extra oil to them. 

Let them cool otherwise the next step will result in a lot of choice words, a brand new dance move and the need to go to the store again for aloe lotion.

Step 3: Once your brownies have cooled cut them into large squares. Use the palm of your hand to flatten the brownies down as much as you can. That's it, let out all your week's frustrations ("Come on Steve! All you had to do was file one report!?!?!"). 

Step 4: Then remove the dough balls from the freezer and wrap them inside your flattened brownies. It's ok if the brownies crack a little, you should be able to kind of smooth them out so that they cover the cookie dough balls. Once you have done this, set everything back in the freezer. Pour yourself a celebratory glass of wine.

Step 5: Eat any cookie dough balls that managed not to get covered in brownie. Top off your glass of wine and pretend to care about something someone said on Facebook for about 15 minutes.

Step 6: Melt your chocolate bark in whatever way you find preferable (if you have never melted chocolate bark before, please Google it as it is actually really easy to burn). Take your cookie-dough brownie balls out of the freezer and dip and coat them in the chocolate. 

Then swear profusely and remember that melted things are often hot, and grab some tongs with which to dip your creations. Refrain from eating them immediately as well, they are still hot and it will not be as pleasant as one would think. Place the coated balls back on the tray and pop the tray back in the freezer.
Step 7: Pour yourself another glass of wine and watch an episode of that one T.V. show that you hate to admit you like to watch on Netflix. After about 30 or 40 minutes everything should have set and they should be ready for eating! 


Need more cooking tips? Come find me on FacebookTwitter (@AllisonHawn) and Goodreads

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