Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here

Ahoy mateys! Today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

This be one of me favorite holidays! When else can ye threaten to keel-haul someone!?

Don't be forgetting, if ye need something extra to hoist yer sails, then swoop in and grab yerself a copy of "Life is a Pirate Ship Run by a Velociraptor!" Don't be a land lubber, get yers smartly!

No need to mutiny to raid some of this treasure, just set yer heading fer Amazon!

In honor of International Talk Like a Pirate Day go get yerself some grog and make merry with these pirate facts (after yer done dancin' the hornpipe, a'course)!

1. Pirates didn't often bury their treasure.

Most pirates, immediately upon landing after a raid, would split up the bounty between the members of the crew. Also, keep in mind that a lot of the goods pilfered were things like coffee, fruit or other foodstuffs that would not have stored well. Pirates smelled bad enough on their own, they didn't need rotting food to help with the stench. Sorry land-lubbers, no maps leading to buried treasure!

2. Pirates were not a long-lived sort.

The average career lifespan for a pirate was about two years. The whole lack of hospitals to treat things like gunshot wounds or scurvy had a tendency to make piracy a very short-sighted career choice.

3. Piracy is older than one might think.

There is documentation of seafaring pirates all the way back to ancient Greece. In fact a group of pirates once captured Julius Caesar and held him for ransom (not realizing who he was). After he was released he had every one of the pirates captured and executed. I wonder if they still said "Arrr!" in ancient Greece?

Anne Bonny ~ Seafaring Badass Woman

4. There were women pirates, who were feared just as much, if not more than their male counterparts.

Anne Bonny and Mary Read were two of the most notorious pirates of their day and were rumored to have fought harder and with more ferocity than any of their male counterparts. Lady Ching Shih ran a Chinese pirate fleet that numbered in the hundreds of ships.

5. Naughty pirates rarely were forced to walk the plank.

If you were caught disobeying one of the many rules on board the pirate ship you were most often just thrown overboard, left on a deserted island or keel hauled (drug across the bottom of a barnacle encrusted ship).

6. Pirates piercing their ears was not just a fashion statement.

It was the widespread belief that piercing one's ears with precious metals improved one's eyesight. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

7. Most pirate crews offered worker's compensation for injuries.

Any limbs, fingers or eyes lost in a raid would gain you extra portions on the plunder on most ships. Not only did you get compensated, but you were often assured that you would not lose your job, despite your injury.

Thar ye have it! Don't forget to lay anchor and come ashore to survey me Facebook, Twitter (@AllisonHawn) and Goodreads!